


The Galactic Compass

by Literallyliteraryrogue



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars: Rebels, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2019-07-10 17:45:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15954371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Literallyliteraryrogue/pseuds/Literallyliteraryrogue
Summary: Snoke took an online political compass quiz before his demise - with some unexpected results. The new supreme leader is very displeased with the news, but decides to make everyone take the test to see where their true loyalties lie. Will he solidify his place as Supreme Autocrat, or learn what it takes to become a better leader and perhaps regain a certain scavenger's affections? Either way, everything from deep character exploration to outright hilarity will ensue.





	1. Snoke

**Author's Note:**

> To give you some more advance warning, there will be frank discussions on topics like racism, class division, abortion, and such. However, I'm less interested in propagandizing than in exploring these topics from various character POV's, so the opinions expressed in this piece are not likely to be my own.

My dear subjects, it has been brought to my attention by our chief propaganda officer that where I go the galaxy follows. This of course should be obvious to the entire First Order as we strive to teach the Resistance that precise lesson. However, I had been encouraged to take this political compass quiz to show the galaxy where I lead it. After killing him for his audacity, I decided his suggestion bore some merit, so here I begin.

“If economic galacticization is inevitable, it should serve the people rather than the interests of trans-system corporations.”

I agree, but not strongly. My investments have made me wealthy enough to personally fund the establishment of the First Order and many of its endeavors. I have also been able to bring numerous corporations under the heel of the First Order, providing us with the ships, weapons, all the material support we need to bring order to the galaxy, including my glorious flagship, the Supremacy. I am also fully aware that some corporations are not so loyal. If they cannot be persuaded to serve exclusively the First Order – and by that, of course I mean our people – they shall be destroyed.

“I always support my government, whether right or wrong.”

I shall take immense delight in subjecting whoever included this statement to the cruelest possible death for even entertaining the idea that I could ever be wrong. On second thought, this item should prove useful in detecting anyone who does not strongly agree, so we can properly deal with such treacherous sentiment before it escalates to full blown treason. To strongly agree is the only viable option.

“No one chooses their system of origin, so it’s foolish to be proud of it.”  
I find pride in serving the First Order to be a useful sentiment among my subjects, but pride in one’s system or planet of birth leads to division and treason and threatens the order I offer the galaxy. I disagree.

“Some races have many superior qualities, compared with other races.”

Indisputably. There is a reason why you’ll never see Wookiees, Twi’leks, and such in any command position. Some few races are meant for power, and most others exist exclusively to serve those in power. Even the Force favors some life forms and bloodlines over others. 

“The enemy of my enemy is my friend.”

I disagree. At best, the enemy of my enemy is a useful ally with only the potential to become a loyal servant of the First Order. Once our mutual enemy is destroyed, if they don’t join us as permanent vassals to my Order, they shall be brought to heel by force or else destroyed.

“Military action that defies galactic law is sometimes justified.”

I strongly disagree. The First Order is Galactic Law. The Resistance and all who take action in defiance of my rule must be destroyed.

“There is now a worrying fusion of information and entertainment.”

The fusion of approved information and entertainment in First Order controlled media was the idea of my late propaganda officer, one that I approved. So I strongly disagree with the statement. I don’t find this at all worrying.

“People are ultimately divided more by class than by race or planet of origin.”

I agree. This is why it is essential that all with the means keep those in poverty fed, content, provided a First Order education, and thereby conditioned to happily serve the First Order. Discontent will only breed more treason and resistance to stomp out. Not that I ever tire of doing that.

“Controlling inflation is more important than controlling unemployment.”

I agree. With the jobs we’ve created in the shipyards, in communications, in the mining industry, in weapons manufacturing, and especially with our stormtrooper program, we have already eliminated unemployment in our territories. The challenge is to keep the cost of living low. We will accomplish that by meeting everybody’s basic physical needs and eliminate wage slavery by eliminating wages.

“Because corporations cannot be trusted to voluntarily protect the environment, they require regulation.”

This statement amuses me. Yes, corporations need to be regulated so their service is entirely to the First Order. If a planet’s ecology can serve the First Order, of course it must be protected. But some planets are, as General Hux’s contemporaries might put it, “shitholes.” Once the meager resources they can contribute to the First Order have been exhausted, the only way they can serve us is as weapons testing sites or by their complete destruction. Those who value their planets’ environments can better protect them by full dedication to the First Order. And I take pride in removing a galactic scale hazard by ending the pollution of the Hosnian System. So I agree strongly, but not for the statement’s exact reason.

“’From each according to his ability, to each according to his need’ is a fundamentally good idea.”

I strongly agree. I will accept nothing short of everyone’s maximum potential, and I alone will decide what everyone needs.

“It’s a sad reflection on our society that something as basic as drinking water is now a bottled, branded consumer product.”

I disagree. Sales of our Naboo Springs brand reclaimed sewer water have been especially successful on Kashyyyk, in the Otomok System, in the lower levels of Nar Shadaa, Corellia, and Coruscant, and especially on the desert planets. Our water sales have funded a lot of our endeavors, helped us establish control over planets where clean water is scarce, and largely bypassed criminal syndicates, wresting control of the supply from their filthy hands. I only regret that control over Kashyyyk can’t be bought with bottles of water. Actually, that’s not true. We have other means of taking back control there, even after the unfortunate loss of Starkiller.

“Land shouldn’t be a commodity to be bought and sold.”

I strongly agree. It should all be turned over to me.

“It is regrettable that many personal fortunes are made by people who simply manipulate money and contribute nothing to their society.”

I agree. I am not opposed to such means of making money. Think of how your Supreme Leader acquired his splendid wardrobe of gold sequined bathrobes. The difference is that I contribute to society as your ruler, and as your ruler, I need to dress the part. You, on the other hand, should turn over all your gains for the greater good of the First Order.

“Protectionism is sometimes necessary in trade.”  
I strongly disagree. Protectionism should be completely unnecessary, because I will gain full control over all trade in the galaxy.

“The only social responsibility of a company should be to deliver a profit to its shareholders.”

I disagree. The only social responsibility of a company is to serve me.

“The rich are too highly taxed.”

I strongly disagree. Those who have greater means should contribute more to the First Order. And if they don’t contribute willingly, we’ll take it. I do not understand people’s resistance to greater taxes. You should follow your Supreme Leader’s example. I gladly pay my share in taxes. Of course, it all goes back to me anyway. Wait. You will forget I just said that.

“Those with the ability to pay should have access to higher standards of medical care.”

I agree. While we have achieved near universal health care coverage in our territories, the demand is too high and resources are too short to provide everyone with prompt, full service care. Those who want to bypass waiting periods or want treatments we’ve deemed nonessential, like skin grafts, reconstructive surgery, anesthesia, et cetera, will have to pay extra. I did without all these treatments for the good of the First Order. If it’s good enough for your Supreme Leader, it’s good enough for you. Pain makes us powerful, so I suggest we all use it.

“Governments should penalize businesses and other entities that mislead the public.”

Oh, absolutely! And with the extreme prejudice that destroys whole planets. Did I mention how badly I regret the loss of Starkiller Base?

“A genuine free market requires restrictions on the ability of predator multisystem businesses to create monopolies.”

This statement is absurd. I will tolerate no free market. Such will only undermine my economic control and rule over the galaxy. The very idea is treason. But I suppose I have to say I agree. Abolishing the free market altogether counts as restriction, doesn’t it?

“The freer the market, the freer the people.”

That is technically true, but what has freedom ever done for rule and order in the galaxy? A freer people is a rebellious people, and I will not tolerate that.

“Abortion, when the woman’s life is not threatened, should always be illegal.”

I somewhat disagree. While I agree wholeheartedly that, as was said at the end of the Civil War, “the Empire needs children,” we only want children who are fit for service to the First Order. Not only should abortion of unfit children and of any young of lesser sentients remain perfectly legal, in some cases it is required.

“All authority should be questioned.”

All who question my authority will be blasted with lightning, and that’s only if I wish to keep such people alive.

“An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.”

I disagree. Knock out one of my Order’s many teeth, and you will lose much more than just a tooth. I may just let my interrogators take them all, and you will splutter toothless supplications for mercy on the holonet for the entire galaxy to hear before I deign to end your agony and your life.

“Taxpayers should not be expected to prop up any theatres or museums that cannot survive on a commercial basis.”

I disagree. All artistic endeavors that promote the values of the First Order receive what I determine they require to continue their great work. All artists and cultural venues that don’t promote the First Order or even go so far as to support the Resistance or glorify the Republic will be permitted to exist independently, but they and their patrons will be closely monitored.

“Schools should not make classroom attendance compulsory.”

I only somewhat disagree. Schools don’t exist in many systems, and with only a couple of exceptions, it’s proven useful to keep their populations ignorant. However, in all other systems, attendance at First Order accredited schools is compulsory, especially in particularly uppity populations. We provide schooling for all children in said systems who haven’t been preselected for the Stormtrooper program, starting at the age of eighteen standard months or immediately upon them learning to say “no” in any language. Parents who refuse to enroll their children will have their children taken and enrolled in the Stormtrooper program, and any school that deviates from First Order approved curricula will be shut down.

Higher education is not compulsory, but occupational certificates or degrees are required for all but the most menial jobs. Also, we have banned such subjects as legal history, the Republic Constitutions, and civil rights law.

“All people have their rights, but it is better for all of us that different sorts of people should keep to their own kind.”

No, no, no! Nobody has rights unless I say they do! However, bloodlines are important. Good bloodlines breed strong soldiers, as proven by my apprentice, so I can only somewhat agree with this statement. 

“Good parents sometimes have to spank their children.”

Yes, absolutely! In fact, they should enact even harsher penalties for disobedience. A thoroughly disciplined citizenry is one that is orderly and compliant. Torture, Force lightning, and public humiliation are my preferred methods.

“It’s natural for children to keep some secrets from their parents.”  
Indeed. And I used that to great affect when grooming my apprentice. However, he thinks I don’t know he’s mooning over that scavenger. I may have to punish him for that. Forget I said that and above all do not relay this to Kylo Ren.

“Possessing spice for personal use should not be a criminal offence.”

I agree. It is my goal to undermine the criminal syndicates by completely taking over the entire spice and death stick market. It will remain a crime to obtain such from anywhere other than a First Order dispensary, but we have found the employment of such drugs useful in keeping our subjects content and compliant.

“The prime function of schooling should be to equip the future generation to find jobs.”

…for the First Order!

 

“People with serious inheritable disabilities should not be allowed to reproduce.”

I agree. In fact, sometimes I wonder if it had been wise for Leia Organa and Han Solo to reproduce. Maybe from here on out I should limit the reproduction of anybody strong with the Force. You will forget I said that and not relay this to Kylo Ren.

“The most important thing for children to learn is to accept discipline.”

You have no idea how gratifying it is to hear stormtroopers express gratitude after undergoing reconditioning.

 

“There are no savage and civilized peoples; there are only different cultures.”

I’d believe that if we didn’t have to invest so much in pacifying our occupied territories, destroying the Hosnian System, and chasing down the last of the Resistance. And that scavenger that occupies my apprentice’s thoughts… ugh! You will not tell Kylo Ren I said that. Let him think I want to meet her and invite her to join us.

“Those who are able to work and refuse the opportunity should not expect society’s support.”

Laziness will be met by corporal punishment, starvation, and perhaps even death, depending on the severity of the offense.

“When you are troubled, it’s better not to think about it, but to keep busy with more cheerful things.”

Absolutely not! Hope is a disease that must be eradicated. Without the illusion that there might be anything better, the galaxy will more easily accept the order I offer. They may gain the focus and clarity pain provides and thereby better apply themselves to their work. They may numb themselves with spice. Or they may die, and if so, good riddance.

“First-generation immigrants can never be fully integrated within their new country.”

I suppose by “immigrants,” you mean people of the systems we’ve newly conquered. Of course they can fully integrate into the First Order. I will allow them no alternative.

“What’s good for the most successful corporations is always, ultimately, good for all of us.”

Oh, I agree, which is why it’s my goal to ensure corporations loyal to me succeed. I do not completely agree, though, as corporations that are not fully loyal must fail in such a way that they become examples to every business in the galaxy.

“No broadcasting institution, however independent its content, should receive public funding.”

I practically own the holonet. The funding I provide comes with the stipulation that the networks only broadcast and publish First Order approved content. My disagreement with the statement remains tempered with the knowledge of the underground networks popping up like womp rats, releasing unauthorized content and even Resistance propaganda. They of course receive no First Order funding. I only tolerate their broadcasts because if we can trace them, we can find and destroy these filthy rabble rousers.

“Our civil liberties are being excessively curbed in the name of counter-terrorism.”

This statement is entirely too biased in favor of civil liberties. I strongly disagree.

“A significant advantage of a one-party state is that it avoids all the arguments that delay progress in a democratic political system.”

Absolutely!

 

“Only wrongdoers need to worry about the increase in official surveillance.”  
I strongly agree. Those with nothing to hide have nothing to fear.

“The death penalty should be an option for the most serious crimes.”  
I strongly agree. I even think it should be an option for lesser crimes.

“In a civilized society, one must always have a leader to be obeyed and people below to be commanded.”

Yes, absolutely!

“Abstract art that doesn’t represent anything shouldn’t be considered art at all.”  
I disagree. Often it is hard to convey the awesome power of the Darkness and the glorious rule of my First Order with representational art. However, I disapprove of purely expressionistic art, as it can be too chaotic and may convey and evoke feelings of discontent with my leadership. I took away my apprentice’s various art supplies for that reason, though given the mess he frequently makes of his room, offices, and so forth with his light saber, I think maybe I should give them back.

“In criminal justice, punishment should be more important than rehabilitation.”

Rehabilitation is a notion entertained by fools infected with hope. There is no hope, no rehabilitation - only reconditioning and punishment.

“It is a waste of time to try to rehabilitate some criminals.”

I think you already know my answer, given what I just said!

“The businessperson and the manufacturer are more important than the writer and the artist.”

The writer and artist are important as long as they produce work that promotes the Order and write pretty little speeches to keep Hux occupied and holonet viewers engaged. However, banners and speeches don’t arm our troops, build our ships, or fund our operations. The businessperson and the manufacturer will always be more important.

“Mothers may have careers, but their first duty is to be homemakers.”

A mother’s first duty is to bear children for the First Order. However, as she won’t have to raise any stormtrooper conscripts and won’t even need to spend much time raising any other children, she is free to pursue other means of serving the First Order and need not remain a homemaker. So I slightly disagree with this statement.

“Multisystem companies are unethically exploiting the plant genetic resources of developing worlds.”  
Indeed they are, but since it’s for the benefit of the First Order, I have ruled that it’s perfectly ethical.

“Making peace with the establishment is an important aspect of maturity.”

I strongly agree. The Resistance’s obstinate rejection of my rule proves they are all intellectually and emotionally stunted. Even Leia Organa, for her wealth of cunning and experience, still harbors resentment over her capture and the righteous punishment of Alderaan. She remains the pugnacious adolescent she was at nineteen.”

“Astrology accurately explains many things.”

The stars move through the Force as they do through space. I find the ancient myths some worlds retain about the movement of the constellations and planets in their skies fascinating. However they all were rendered irrelevant many millennia ago with the advent of space travel. Astrology only serves nowadays to give subjects the illusion of hope, and that cannot be tolerated.

“You cannot be moral without being religious.”

I disagree. What is “moral,” but what I say it is? Religion is unnecessary for one to be devoted to the First Order. In fact, the various sects of Force devotees have only proven consistently troublesome. It will only benefit the First Order if we wipe them all out like the Jedi and the villagers of Tuanul. 

“Charity is better than social security as a means of helping the genuinely disadvantaged.”

Showing charity contributes to misguided faith in the goodness of sentients and hope that sentients might not need the First Order to serve each other.

The First Order is mother and father to the galaxy, and any service to others that is independent of the government creates disorder in our proverbial galactic family. Charity is also rooted in compassion, which is weakness, and it therefore is an abomination.

“Some people are naturally unlucky.”

There is no luck. There is only the Force, which I’ve made an instrument of my will.

 

“It is important that my child’s school instills religious values.”

No. Devotion to the First Order must be taught. Religion, on the other hand, will give people the idea that there is a power in the universe greater than me and hope for a life better than what the First Order offers.

“Sex outside marriage is usually immoral.”

Again, I decide what’s moral. As long as those engaging in reproductive activities are fit and free of disease and produce fit, healthy offspring for the First Order, whatever living arrangement they have is not my concern. Marriage is not necessary, and I don’t even entirely approve of marriage. A marriage based on lust, possessiveness, obligation, or jealousy is one thing, but the First Order recognizes no marriage based on weaknesses like compassion and disinterested love. People in such marriages may regard love for their spouses as more important than their commitment to the First Order. 

“A same sex couple in a stable, loving relationship should not be excluded from the possibility of child adoption.”

There is no child adoption in the First Order, regardless of who wants to adopt or what their living arrangement is. All orphans and abandoned children are wards of the First Order and must be turned in to the nearest First Order offices. We need to redouble our efforts to take better control of even the most far-flung regions of the galaxy for the sake of these children. Our limited presence in the Western Reaches, for example, has resulted in children reaching adulthood without our training, without our education, without any conditioning, and worst of all without ever learning to trust and respect authority. One such orphan has become a particular thorn in my side. Can you imagine how much worse she’d be if she were adopted by the Church of the Force? Faugh! Oh, don’t tell Kylo Ren I said this. Forget I even said the last two sentences. 

 

“Pornography depicting consenting adults should be legal for the adult population.”  
I personally find pornography repellent, though moderate use of images depicting violent and degrading encounters has proven useful in conditioning troops and stimulating Dark impulses. Images of Republic and Resistance supporters in compromising positions also make for effective propaganda.

I have noticed, however, that my apprentice, despite his strength in the Dark Side and the power of his passions, finds such images upsetting. Go ahead and tell him about this weakness if you wish. If you say I told you, he may only Force choke you.

“What goes on in a private bedroom between consenting adults is no business of the state.”

I strongly disagree. The First Order has a vested interest in ensuring everyone engaging in reproductive activities is fit, healthy, and free of any infectious diseases, so that any offspring they produce will be strong, healthy servants of my Order.

“No one can feel naturally homosexual.”

Sentients can naturally feel all kinds of things. The only thing that matters is if their feelings can be used to serve me.

“These days openness about sex has gone too far.”

I disagree. The more people share their private lives with First Order health officials and the government in general, the better.

So here are my results. “Economic left – right: -2.5. Social libertarian – authoritarian: 2.31.”

Hahahahahahaha! Oh- hahaha- this is delightful. I – I – I’ve never seen anything so amusing. These tears – they’re tears of laughter! This - this says I’m slightly left leaning and only a little authoritarian! 

Once I appoint my new chief propaganda officer, we should release this far and wide, let the galaxy see me as a moderate! I will then honor the late chief propaganda officer with a posthumous award for bringing this test to my attention.


	2. Kylo Ren, Rey, and an Unexpected Guest

“Rey?” He appeared in the hangar, looking up at the girl perched atop the Millennium Falcon and taking only miniscule comfort in the fact that nobody else could see him.

“Not now, Kylo,” Rey said, attempting to wipe grease from her face and only succeeding in smearing it around. “I’m trying to repair the ship you tried to blow up with me in it!”

“Kylo? You used to call me Ben.” He had the audacity to sound slightly hurt.

“I could go back to my original name for you, monster” Rey huffed, “especially after I gave you the perfect opening to save my friends, and you instead begged me to become your evil empress, then tried to kill us all on Crait!”

“I deeply regret that. I regret all of it, except for asking you to join me. Nothing I do can right the wrongs I’ve committed, but I have a new proposal that - I hope - will turn things around.”

Rey’s scowl softened as she took in Ben’s hangdog expression, but she held fast. “If it has anything to do with ruling the galaxy with you, count me out.” 

Ben flinched, but replied, “It doesn’t. I just need your opinions on some matters.”  
“You want my opinion?” Rey said, completely incredulous. “Don’t you have a cabinet or panel of advisors to give you their opinions?”

“Yes, I do,” Ben sniffed, “and I’ve quickly discovered that I can’t trust any of them. They are either useless groveling sycophants or old Imperial retainers with too many connections to Hux. And I know he’s considering mounting a coup.”

“What about your knights? I saw them in a vision…”

“It’s better that you don’t know what became of them.”

The very implication brought tears to Rey’s eyes. The handful of students who stood up for Ben when his uncle nearly killed him? Ben was right. Whatever fate Snoke had for them was likely too horrible to contemplate. “So you’re Supreme Leader of the First Order,” Rey said, “and yet you’re utterly alone.”

“I am. You said you’d help me. Please,” Ben implored, holding his hand out. “I need to hear what you have to say.” 

Rey scrambled to the ground. “Why me?” she asked. “I know how your mother raised you. Don’t you know everything about politics? Didn’t Snoke also train you for this?”

“No and no,” Ben replied. “After… after he ordered me to kill my father and I very foolishly obeyed, it was clear he never intended me to rule. What my father said was true. Snoke only wanted to keep me eternally under that bony thumb of his. As for my upbringing, I learned a great deal from my mother, among them that politicians usually know nothing of the people they represent. While I know suffering, I’ve nevertheless always had wealth and privilege. To me, poverty always was just a distant memory of my father’s.” He again offered his hand. “You – I mean your knowledge, your perspective – are important to me.”

Rey looked at his hand without taking it and agonized for a moment. “Very well,” she finally said.

“You doing all right there, Rey?” 

“Yes, Poe,” Rey replied. “I just need to take a break.”

“I suppose it’s just as well you ‘take a break,’” Ben grumbled. “You will at least need access to computer and some privacy for us to continue this discussion. And we don’t need Dameron hearing your end of it.”

Rey then scampered off to her room. With her need for a quiet, calm place to meditate, she was one of the few in the new resistance base to have a room of her own. Besides a cot, there was a work table with tools and parts scattered on it, a desk with a salvaged but fully functional console, and window that bathed the room with the sunlight in which an assortment of potted plants thrived and colorful stones glimmered. Rey looked around the room but didn’t see Ben.

“Ben?” She sent her call through the Force along that bridge between their minds. She didn’t expect it to work so well. Suddenly she saw not only Ben, but some glowing blue apparition with shaggy hair, Jedi robes, and a big grin. Apparently, she interrupted them in conversation. The glowing apparition turned to her. 

“Rey,” he said, “the girl I’ve heard so much about!”

Rey noted how less creepy those words sounded when, judging by his honest, beaming face, it was apparent that he was glad to see her. She still had yet to get used to receiving warm welcomes from anyone, though, and just looked at him blankly.

“Rey,” Ben intoned, “this is Darth-“

“Oh, please call me Anakin,” the ghost interrupted.

“Wait,” Rey said, trying to digest this. “You’re Anakin Skywalker. The Anakin Skywalker! You won the Boonta Eve Classic when you were just ten!”

“Nine, actually,” Anakin replied. “I’m also Ben’s grandfather.”

“Yes,” Ben groused. “The grandfather who only now shows up after all those years I begged for his guidance.”

“Hey,” Anakin said, his hands up in a placating gesture, “it’s not my fault that ‘master’ of yours ran interference your whole life. With him out of the way, I’m finally free and clear to be the grandfather you need. I came to tell you that I’m proud of you. The galaxy suffered and is still suffering, my family most of all, because I thought I didn’t need to listen to my wife. You listening to yours will maybe start to put things right.”

“Oh…” Ben was clearly unaccustomed to receiving praise that wasn’t immediately followed with put downs, screaming, and perhaps a jolt of lightning. “Thanks,” he stammered.

“Now killing your master to spare her life was great! You just need to work on your marriage proposal,” Anakin continued. “I found that facing execution together works…”

“What? No, I’m not marrying him!” Rey exploded.

Anakin then turned to Rey and winked. “We’ll see,” he said as he faded out.

Rey and Ben stood, looking at each other in stunned silence, Ben’s eyes damp with unshed tears. Rey recovered first and looked away. “Well,” she said, sitting at her desk. “I won’t marry you, but I still said I’d help you. Let’s get to work. Where do we begin?”

“Is your computer booted?” Ben said, his voice soft and a little shaky. “We will begin with a trip into some of the wilder depths of the holonet. Look up ‘political compass.’”

“I see,” Rey said, as her small, dusty vidscreen lit up, showing a series of questions with multiple choice answers. “This is a test of some kind.”

“Indeed,” Ben said, sitting next to her. “It can be a good way to ascertain loyalties, or in this case hopefully find common ground. We just have a couple problems.”

“I can think of more than a couple problems with it,” Rey said, “but what are yours?”

“Shortly before you showed up on the Supremacy, Snoke took the test on the advice of his last chief propaganda officer, likely to rehabilitate his image after the destruction of the Hosnian System. The results paint him as only a moderate authoritarian!”

“What?!” Rey jolted, nearly falling out of her seat. Ben instinctively reached out to steady her, putting his hand on her back.

“I know!” Ben replied. “We know how he really is, but not everyone does. And Snoke had it on the agenda to appoint a new chief propaganda officer and release his results to the public!”

“But you won’t do that, will you?” Rey said.

“I have not yet filled that post, and no, I won’t. Not yet, anyway,” Ben replied. “I have security footage from the throne room’s surveillance system, and I’ve transcribed everything he’s said while taking the test. If someone tries to portray Snoke in any sympathetic light, we’ll show the galaxy the results – and also every warped reason for his answers.

“I also required all my officers to take the test. Let me show you Hux’s results.”


	3. Hux

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux is ordered to take the political compass quiz, and does he ever resent that!

So of course one of the first things Ren, upon stealing Snoke’s throne, would ask of my officers is to take some stupid holonet quiz. In case he’s trying to ascertain our loyalties, I’ve already submitted one with answers I believe will be to his liking. I’m taking this now and circulating the results among those I’ve found adequately loyal, so if you see this, either congratulations or an execution will be in order. Regardless, here is my real position on these matters.

"If economic galactization is inevitable, it should primarily serve the people rather than the interests of trans-system corporations." 

I strongly disagree. Pan-galactic expansion should only serve the First Order. Millicent, on the other hand, thinks it should serve her exclusively.

"I’d always support my government, whether it was right or wrong."  
Strongly agree, though I think anyone who even thinks the First Order could be wrong should be reconditioned. Should that fail, they must be executed. Isn’t that right, Millie? They should die like the rats they are. 

"No one chooses his or her planet of origin, so it’s foolish to be proud of it."  
Disagree. It only depends. Those coming from civilized worlds that have long embraced the First Order and the Empire of old, such as Arkanis, have every reason to be proud. Pride in one’s world of origin is useful in assessing one’s loyalties. Those displaying any pride in coming from shithole worlds, neutral systems, or hotbeds of dissent must have their activities carefully monitored.

"Our race has many superior qualities, compared with other races."  
Obviously. Humans run the galaxy, as is our birthright. That Chiss and those blue-robed navigators have their uses, serving as examples to their kind that willing servitude to the First Order has its rewards while also showing the galaxy that we are not the oppressors the more disobedient among their kind make us out to be.

And yes, while I graciously served our late Supreme Leader like nobody else, it’s obvious to me that it was only a matter of time before a human would take his place. I only wish it wasn’t that madman Ren.

"The enemy of my enemy is my friend."  
Disagree. The enemy of my enemy is only a useful ally. We have no friends. The galaxy has only loyal subjects, useful allies, or enemies. And any allies that refuse to become our subjects become enemies.

"Military action that defies galactic law is sometimes justified."  
Absolutely not. The First Order is galactic law, and all defiance must be crushed.

"There is now a worrying fusion of information and entertainment."  
I strongly agree, particularly since independent children’s programming like, “The Luke Skywalker Adventures” is gaining in popularity while “Millicent’s First Order Friends” and other First Order approved shows aren’t catching on in our new territories. And yes, people are making fun of Millie’s show! This cannot stand. I won’t let it. No, I won’t, Millie-poo.

"People are ultimately divided more by class than by race."  
I agree, and I intend to put an end to this division. Rich or poor, all will bow to the might of my armies and Millicent’s adorable feline ferocity.

"Controlling inflation is more important than controlling unemployment."  
I Strongly agree. Between our shipyards, mines, construction projects, weapons development and manufacturing, and the stormtrooper program, we’ve wiped out unemployment in our territories. Inflation, however, can destroy all that, so in addition to paying people according to what we determine their needs are, we must gain and retain complete control of the market and fix all prices.

"Because corporations cannot be trusted to voluntarily protect the environment, they require regulation."  
Strongly agree, but only because corporations require regulation. The ecology of shithole worlds doesn’t concern me in the least.

“'From each according to his ability, to each according to his need.' is a fundamentally good idea."  
Strongly agree. Of course I will determine what each person’s needs and abilities are.

"It’s a sad reflection on our society that something as basic as drinking water is now a bottled, branded consumer product."

Strongly disagree. Water makes up and sustains most life forms in the galaxy. The bottling and sale of Nabooian Springs Reclaimed Sewer Water sustains the First Order.

"Land shouldn’t be a commodity to be bought and sold."  
Strongly agree. It should be handed over to me.

"It is regrettable that many personal fortunes are made by people who simply manipulate money and contribute nothing to their society."

Strongly disagree. Manipulating money and contributing to society are not mutually exclusive. It’s how the First Order funds its expansion efforts and how I will manage the economy.

"Protectionism is sometimes necessary in trade."  
Strongly disagree. Complete control over all trade will make protectionism obsolete.

"The only social responsibility of a company should be to deliver a profit to its shareholders."  
Strongly disagree. The only social responsibility of a company is to serve the First Order.

"The rich are too highly taxed."  
Strongly disagree. The only way to achieve complete economic equality is if everyone hands over all their fortune and the fruit of their labor to the First Order for me to redistribute as I see is needed.

"Those with the ability to pay should have access to higher standards of medical care."  
Strongly disagree. Under my direction, all will have access to basic health care. Those who want better care for their children should enlist them in the stormtrooper program.

"Governments should penalize businesses that mislead the public."  
Strongly agree. And my Starkiller Base was the perfect means to deliver this righteous retribution. I’ll have a new Starkiller ready the moment the Supreme Leader requests it. Maybe I won’t even wait that long. We had the Resistance reduced to the few who got away on that flying piece of scrap. We could have ended them if our gunners hadn’t waited to receive the order.

Come to think of it, why didn’t Ren give that order? After first ordering us to shoot that piece of junk out of the sky, then ordering no quarter, why did he apparently change his mind? I will have to look into that.

"A genuine free market requires restrictions on the ability of predator multisystem corporations to create monopolies."  
I agree with restricting the market. I won’t even pretend I’m interested in a free market.  
"The freer the market, the freer the people."  
I agree with that, which is why we must have total control of the market.

"Abortion, when the woman’s life is not threatened, should always be illegal."  
Strongly disagree. Yes, the Empire needs children, but we only need children who are fit to serve. Abortion of all unfit children and children carried by insubordinate women must be required. We don’t need the unfit to breed and drain resources better spent on expanding the First Order. And we don’t need rebellious mothers raising children to be like them. Yes, I’m including a certain Resistance general whose son’s identity I will reveal when the time is right.

"All authority should be questioned."  
Strongly disagree. All who question my authority will be reconditioned or executed. Now if you question Ren’s, on the other hand, you’re welcome to discuss that with me. Just be discrete about it.

"An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth."  
Disagree. An eye for an eye is nowhere near enough. Poke my army in the eye, and we’ll gouge out both of yours. And then kill you if we have no further use of you. And maybe kill your family, your city, perhaps even your whole system.

I still wonder why Ren didn’t follow through on “no quarter.”

"Taxpayers should not be expected to prop up any theatres or museums that cannot survive on a commercial basis."  
Strongly disagree. Theaters and museums that promote First Order values should receive all the support they need. Venues that wish to remain “independent,” however, are free to fail. I’ll gladly support them in that endeavor.

"Schools should not make classroom attendance compulsory."  
Strongly disagree. While keeping some populations uneducated has proven useful, that policy also produced a certain scavenger who’s a far bigger thorn in my side than she has any right to be. It’s one thing to keep populations ignorant. It’s another to keep them uneducated. Too little of the right kind of education breeds a populace prone to unhealthy habits like independent thought. Providing too much education to too many people, on the other hand, would mean digging our own graves.

Rather, all children who are not already in the stormtrooper program will receive a basic education with First Order approved curricula starting in infancy. Basic job training will also be available to provide us with the workforce we need. Any additional higher education will be provided as needed and only to students who come from good, loyal families and have demonstrated unfailing fidelity to the First Order.  
Parents who do not enroll their children in First Order schools, who enroll them in unapproved tutoring programs and extracurriculars, or who provide for their children any unapproved instruction may be imprisoned or executed, and their children will be conditioned and immediately enrolled in the stormtrooper program.

"All people have their rights, but it is better for all of us that different sorts of people should keep to their own kind."  
Strongly disagree. Nobody has rights. Even life itself must be earned.

"Good parents sometimes have to spank their children."  
Strongly agree. Swift punishment for all unruly or otherwise disobedient conduct in fact should be required. Parents who take too gentle an approach will have to turn their children over to the stormtrooper program.

"It’s natural for children to keep some secrets from their parents."  
Strongly agree. Just consider the secret I kept from my father.

"Possessing spice for personal use should not be a criminal offence."

Strongly disagree. Spice, death sticks, glitterstim, and such are very useful in keeping the population content and compliant. We even utilize such drugs in the stormtrooper program to great effect. However, said drugs should only be obtained with prior First Order authorization and registration and from a First Order dispensary, and any unauthorized possession should be punishable at the very least by reconditioning.

"The prime function of schooling should be to equip the future generation to find jobs."  
Strongly agree, and they should be fast tracked to jobs within the First Order as much as possible.

"People with serious inheritable disabilities should not be allowed to reproduce."

Strongly agree. As I’ve said, the First Order needs children, but only children fit to serve.

"The most important thing for children to learn is to accept discipline."  
Strongly agree. And any parent caught being too lenient will have their brats removed from their custody and conscripted into the stormtrooper program.

"There are no savage and civilised peoples; there are only different cultures."  
Strongly disagree. If that were the case, there wouldn’t be any Resistance, and everything I had worked on to expand the First Order would have been entirely unnecessary.

"Those who are able to work and refuse the opportunity should not expect society’s support."  
Strongly agree. And any unwillingness to work with or for the First Order will be punished with extreme prejudice.

"When you are troubled, it’s better not to think about it, but to keep busy with more cheerful things."  
Agree. Anyone who feels oppressed should contemplate the rewards of willing submission to the First Order. Expressing excessive discontent is punishable as treason.

"First-generation immigrants can never be fully integrated within their new society."

Strongly disagree. Full integration in the First Order is so simple, even a Gungan could do it. All it takes is complete submission to my armies and the rule we’ll impose. And failure to integrate will be punishable by conditioning or death.

"What’s good for the most successful corporations is always, ultimately, good for all of us."

I strongly disagree except on one condition – that these corporations’ success stems from service to the First Order. And success apart from the First Order is bad for the First Order and must be crushed.

"No broadcasting institution, however independent its content, should receive public funding."  
Strongly disagree. While broadcasters of independent content should remain completely independent and free to fail, those that provide approved programming like Millicent and her First Order Friends should receive all the funding they require to succeed and expand.

"Our civil liberties are being excessively curbed in the name of counter-terrorism."  
Strongly disagree. The question is in fact ridiculous, based on the absurd notion that civil liberties are in the First Order's best interests.

"A significant advantage of a one-party state is that it avoids all the arguments that delay progress in a democratic political system."  
Strongly agree. And any attempt to introduce an opposition party will be punishable as treason.

"Although advances in surveillance and tracking make official surveillance easier, only wrongdoers need to be worried."

Strongly agree. Those who have nothing to hide have nothing to fear.

"The death penalty should be an option for the most serious crimes."

Strongly agree. It shouldn’t even be reserved for the most serious crimes. Lawbreakers must be punished in a manner that discourages following their example.

"In a civilized society, one must always have people above to be obeyed and people below to be commanded."  
Strongly agree. The First Order chain of command must be followed throughout the galaxy to maintain an orderly civilization.

"Abstract art that doesn’t represent anything shouldn’t be considered art at all."  
Strongly agree. The First Order can only be glorified properly in art that is not open to interpretation. The late supreme leader may have condoned some stylized art like our glorious starburst, and that Chiss was entirely too tolerant of abstract art, but any amateurish hack can create the works Ren prefers. There are other kinds of "art" that shouldn't be considered art either. That calligraphy stuff Ren likes is utterly useless. Anyone wasting his time writing pretty letters – on paper! – is not fit to rule the galaxy.

"In criminal justice, punishment should be more important than rehabilitation."  
Strongly agree. We can’t individually condition or recondition everyone in galaxy. Punishment, such as public executions, fills the gap.

"It is a waste of time to try to rehabilitate some criminals."  
Strongly agree. As that loathsome FN-2187 proved, some people cannot be completely conditioned or reconditioned. As I said before, punishment fills the gap, and we need to make public examples of what happens to people like him.

"The businessperson and the manufacturer are more important than the writer and the artist."

Agree. While art that communicates the might of the First Order is important, with very few exceptions, notably, the designers of our glorious symbol and our uniforms, artists are some of the most useless beings in the galaxy. Businesspeople are even worse, driven as they are by profit rather than an exclusive desire to serve the First Order. They can’t be trusted. The humble manufacturer and other members of the working class are as important as my stormtroopers. My armies expand the First Order by conquest. My workers, on the other hand, literally build the First Order. Though I want as little to do with them as possible, we can’t continue our conquest without them. 

"Mothers may have careers, but their first duty is to be homemakers."  
Disagree. A mother’s first duty is to have children for the First Order. Whether her children are conscripted into the stormtrooper program or enrolled in First Order schools, she need not worry about actually raising and teaching her little sprogs, and the First Order can put her to work in other capacities.

"Multisystem companies are unethically exploiting the plant genetic resources of developing worlds."  
I strongly disagree. The exploitation of all worlds’ resources to benefit the First Order is always ethical.

"Making peace with the establishment is an important aspect of maturity."  
I agree, which is why I am convinced that Ren is ill suited to his new position.

"Astrology accurately explains many things."  
I strongly disagree. It is all just superstition from ignorant, savage races.

"You cannot be moral without being religious."  
I strongly disagree, although I have no use for either religion or any morality other than my own. Not Ren’s erratic bouts of conscience and compassion, and not even Snoke’s little magic shows. The First Order will succeed as it always has – with the might of my armies and the First Order Fleet. 

"Charity is better than social security as a means of helping the genuinely disadvantaged."  
Strongly disagree. The First Order is Father and Mother to the galaxy, and all who are genuinely disadvantaged should turn to us for work and gratefully accept their place. Anyone offering private charity encourages the poor to bypass the First Order and breeds the idea that the poor have options other than working for us. Therefore, all charitable organizations not under the jurisdiction of the First Order must be disbanded, and all engaging in personal acts of charity must be punished.

But giving treats to Millicent is always authorized by the First Order. Isn’t that right, Millie-Billie?

"Some people are naturally unlucky."

Strongly disagree. There are only people who are lazy, incompetent, or disobedient, and they deserve what befalls them.

"It is important that my child’s school instills religious values."

Strongly disagree. Religion teaches “virtues” like hope and charity that threaten the First Order. Rather, it’s important that schools instill fierce devotion to the First Order at any cost.

"Sex outside marriage is usually immoral."

I agree, but that’s for personal reasons that are nobody else’s business. However, whatever arrangements other people choose is not the concern of the First Order, and rest assured that their bastard offspring will be treated no differently than those “legitimately” born within the stormtrooper program.

"A same sex couple in a stable, loving relationship should not be excluded from the possibility of child adoption."

Absolutely not. Nobody, regardless of their living arrangement, is permitted to adopt. Rather, all orphaned and abandoned children are to be turned over to First Order custody immediately.

"Pornography, depicting consenting adults, should be legal for the adult population."  
Strongly agree, although I think consent is perhaps overrated. Pornography has been used effectively in conditioning stormtroopers – but only if it depicts emotionless encounters. Violence and degradation are even better. We can’t have our warriors associating sexual contact with things like intimacy or – worse yet – love. We can’t afford to have them even think of such things.

It’s worth noting that Ren’s never liked such images. I have no interest in them myself. However, he found that holovid “Leia Organa: Hutt-Layer” especially upsetting, and I know why.

"What goes on in a private bedroom between consenting adults is no business of the government."  
Strongly disagree. The First Order has a vested interest in ensuring that those engaging in reproductive activities are fit and healthy, capable of producing only offspring fit for service.

"No one can feel naturally homosexual."  
I disagree. People can naturally feel all kinds of things. What matters is how those feelings can be put to use for the First Order.

"These days openness about sex has gone too far."

I disagree. Anybody engaging in reproductive activities should be completely open, especially with the First Order. There should be nothing kept “personal and private.” The very idea that people have a right to privacy of any kind is antithetical to First Order values.

Economic left/right: -2.88 .  
Social libertarian/authoritarian 2.36.

Hm. I’m surprised and rather disappointed. I thought I’d score much higher on the authoritarian index. Rest assured, though, I will reevaluate my goals and policies and try to raise my score.


	4. Rey Starts the Test

“Wow,” Rey said. “Hux is worse than Snoke.”  
“I agree,” Ben added.  
“You should take this, too,” Rey said.  
“Good idea. I’d take it with you” Ben replied, shutting his eyes and shaking his head in aggravation, “but without Snoke always in my head, I… I just don’t know where I stand on much of anything anymore except that following him’s cost us all far too much and we can’t have Hux in power. So let’s do this and learn from it.”

“All right,” Rey said, “but first, could you move your hand? I can do this without your hand on my back.”  
Disappointment flickered across Ben’s face, but he acquiesced. “You’re quite right.”

Rey tried to ignore how she suddenly missed that contact as she started the test.

"If economic galacticization is inevitable, it should primarily serve the people rather than the interests of trans-system corporations."

“Um, I agree, I guess?” Rey said, sounding unsure.  
“You only guess?” Ben asked.

“Well, of course I agree with helping people whenever we can,” Rey replied, “but is such a thing even possible? It’s a big galaxy, and the only presence trans-system corporations have in Jakku are the makes of the various ships that have landed or crashed there. And I can’t say their presence or absence made much of a difference except in the junk trade.”

"I’d always support my government, whether it was right or wrong."  
Ben looked affronted when Rey gave a sharp, sardonic laugh. “We wouldn’t be here if I didn’t strongly disagree!”  
“But you support me, don’t you? At least enough to do this?” Ben said, looking deeply into Rey’s eyes.

“I support you,” Rey said, poking him in the chest for emphasis, “because you say you want to do better, I said I’d help, and I might as well since we’re still stuck together in the Force. It’s the First Order, galactic domination, and ruling by fear with a durasteel fist that I’ll never support. You had the opportunity to end the war with minimal bloodshed and save my friends, and instead you chose…”

“…badly,” Ben finished, taking her hand and looking up at her with eyes that bore all the sadness of the galaxy in their depths. “I know.”

Rey steeled herself. He admitted he was a monster, but at the moment, he looked more porg-eyed woobie monster than terror of the galaxy. She needed to focus. “Now, can you stop looking at me like that?” she said. “It makes me uncomfortable. And I need my hand back.”

Ben sighed as he let go and she returned to her seat.

"No one chooses his or her planet of origin, so it’s foolish to be proud of it."

“I agree, I guess,” Rey said. “Jakku’s not much to be proud of.”

“You should be proud that you survived and came out as strong as you did. For a long time I felt similarly about Chandrila, but I may have to rethink that. Something tells me I’d be proud to take you there and show you around.”

“If you give up the evil dictator nonsense, install a government that honors sentient rights, and make peace with my friends, I just might take you up on that.” Did Rey really say that? She just revealed that the small remnant of the Resistance wouldn’t be found there. She cleared her throat and redirected her attention to the test. Only three questions in, and that irritating bondmate of hers had distracted her twice with his disarmingly innocent offer and his pretty porg eyes.

Our race has many superior qualities, compared with other races.

“What? No!”

“There’s no way in Malachor that old officers from the Imperial Remnant would share your opinion,” Ben stated.

“Then those wastoids can lick each other’s filthy exhaust ports,” Rey retorted.

Ben smirked, somewhat impressed with Rey’s language and the conviction with which she employed it. “Who says they aren’t doing that already?” he replied.

Rey tried to stifle a laugh, the result being a rather wet splutter that Ben couldn’t help but find endearing.

 

"The enemy of my enemy is my friend."

“I wish that were the case,” Rey sighed.

“It can be,” Ben murmured, scooting closer and leaning toward her, his gaze lingering briefly on her lips before settling upon her eyes. “I could still be your friend.”

“Um, maybe,” Rey stammered, appearing flustered but nevertheless finding herself drawn into that same fathomless gaze she’d earlier said made her uncomfortable. “In time, when you’re no longer a Dark Side despot.”

“I’m working on that,” Ben said, his voice a warm rumble as he leaned even closer. From wherever he actually was, Rey could feel his breath tickle her face.

“You’ll have to work harder,” Rey said, her voice dropping as she leaned in.

That hand returned to Rey’s back, pulling her closer. “I plan to,” Ben said.

“And I’ll help,” Rey replied, closing the distance.

“Stop!”


End file.
